The world's press feeds on sensationalism.
The general public's attention span is so limited that only vivid Technicolor images, lurid sound-bites and three-inch headlines catch their eye for more than a fleeting moment. This phenomenon has really come to the fore with the rise of the Internet. Never has so little been hyped to so many by so few!
The best-loved analogy must be "surfing the 'net". Precisely how one does this remains a little unclear. The only time I have ever become even partially immersed whilst online was when I spilt a can of beer in my lap, and standing on a modem would appear to be an impractical (and potentially expensive) proposition. There exists a vague possibility of working up a slight tan if one possesses a particularly dodgy monitor but, on the whole, I don't see myself as a "'net surfer". A "'net pedestrian" perhaps…
Which brings me to the next analogy, and the main topic of this article: "The Information Super-Highway". This glorious term conjures visions of gleaming, multilane expressways where streamlined, personal conveyances hurtle bullet-like towards a brave new horizon, skilfully steered by bronzed and handsome pioneers of the information society. The reality is a little more prosaic.
The "highway" itself more closely resembles the M6 just north of Birmingham at half past five on a wet and foggy Friday night on a bank-holiday weekend during the
Motor Show when all lanes except the pot-holed hard-shoulder are closed due to road-works. After all the expectations of instant access and multi-megabit data-links, the sad reality is that all Internet traffic still ends up being routed through one node in south-west France which runs on a 12Mhz 286 with a 2400bps modem.
Which is switched off.
Or maybe it just seems like that...
Then there are those aerodynamically-efficient carriages of the future. Picture, if you will, a ten year-old Reliant Robin. Imagine it owned by a sales-rep called Darren who has done a hundred-thousand miles a year every year. Imagine that he takes it stock-car racing at the weekends. Imagine it held together by gaffer tape and spit. Imagine furry dice...
The Internet is full of Darrens lurching unsteadily from place to place in their battered and unreliable plastic pigs, and yet these individuals are to be found towards the top of the technological food-chain, near the front of the Information Traffic Jam. They know, approximately, where they're going. They know, sort of, how to get there. They are, partially, in control of their vehicles. Their map is, sometimes, the right way up.
Sadly there are many others, without Darren's few advantages, who can be found along the hard-shoulder of the Infobahn. Unlike most of the countries of the world, the Internet has no driving tests. No minimum level of competence is required and often no tuition is given. The machines themselves have usually been bought "because everyone should have a computer" by individuals who expect them to be as easy to operate as a television, and to require about as much thought. And it shows...
Humanity is divided in many ways, but one way in particular stands out; those who are baffled by technology as a matter of principle and those who aren't. I belong to the second group (the one whose members set the videos for the first group) and it bemuses me how otherwise very intelligent, sensible, capable people can be completely psyched-out by everyday electronic items. This is not a criticism. Most of the time these people neither need nor want to know the technical details. But now many of them are being propelled down the Information Super-Hypeway's nearest available on-ramp by sensationalist headlines and peer pressure.
And, on the Internet, if you don't know how things work, you're road-kill! The technologically baffled members of society are arriving on the Internet in great numbers. In their own environment they are perfectly at home. On the Information Superhighway, through no fault of their own, they're hedgehogs!
Life is not made easy for newcomers. Directions are often more cryptic than the big-prize crossword in the Times during a feature issue on quantum mechanics. Not content with standard computer jargon, the Internet has spawned an entire dictionary of new terms specifically designed to baffle and confuse the unwary. From the esoteric heights of "TCP/IP" to the deceptively familiar-sounding "Spam" there are terms to be coined for every malfunction and inconvenience.
And road-rage is out there too. Safe behind their keyboards, every seven-stone weakling with a modem and an attitude suddenly develops muscles in their imaginations and hurls mindless abuse at anyone that's been online for five minutes less than them. If you sound your horn when you're cut up in traffic you face the possibility that your target will climb out of his car and turn out to be much larger, hairier and more muscular than you originally thought. Online, when your target is a couple of continents away, this is less of a deterrent and as a result the 'net is a positive cacophony of blaring horns.
Then there is the "town-planning" problem. In the physical world, this is dealt with by highly-trained professionals who study the science for many years, examine the demographics and existing traffic flows of the area, project the likely needs of the local populace and consider all the possible alternatives. Then they still make a complete pigs-ear of it!
Online, the vast majority of sites are developed by thirteen year-olds who want a homepage because it's "kewl" to have one, do not test their work in any kind of structured way and, as a result, leave behind them sites as easy to navigate as Leicester's one-way system blindfolded. The blindfold can in fact be an advantage when viewing some of this category of site. The tasteful and restrained colour-schemes that proliferate throughout them have only previously seen the light of day in some of the more doubtful 1970's curtain shops. An automotive equivalent could possibly be achieved by the purchase of a black-and-rust, A-reg, MOT failed Ford Capri, with orange flames over the wheel-arches.
Even the contents of the 'net can be a culture-shock for those new to the online world. From the contents of Project Gutenburg to the Spam Haiku archive, all literary tastes are catered for. Political correctness is advocated on one site and harpooned on others. Archaeological sites vie for space and bandwidth with pages that discuss the possibilities wearable computers. If you want to build your own rail gun, instructions are just a quick search away. Of course, on the 'net there's no such thing as a quick search, but that's the topic of another article.
Modern aircraft are capable of sustaining supersonic flight and whisking passengers from one side of the globe to the other in a matter of mere hours. By contrast, the Internet is still at the "Orville and Wilbur" stage of development. Look beyond the hype and you can get a lot of information, productivity and pleasure from the Internet. Believe it and all you'll get is disappointment.